Flies

Note: Crude languages ahead

Fuck!!!

The one thing that bothers the hell out of me now are the flies. (Heat is another problem, another time) They're abso-fuckling-lutely irritating.

When do you see flies in Singapore hover around you, crawl on your face, and keep coming back for more even after you've tried swiping them away.

When???

YOU DON'T!!! Unless you don't bath for dunno how many God forsaken years and you have pieces of rotten meat hanging around you!

Fucking flies... And i think the problem's gonna worsen during summer. Damnit!!! No wonder they have summer breaks, it must be to take refuge from the hoards of flies that appear during summer.

And i'm stuck here! Stuck here because i have to do summer classes! Damnit!!!

After pondering for so long, i've thought of some ways in killing them flies...

Hexes:
If my hexes are powerful enough to kill, i'll make sure all flies in Australia drop dead in an instant. Then the problem would be solved. No more irritants!!! Woohoo!!! But it ain't gonna come true. Fuck...

Solar Flare:
Hmm... Wondering if there's gonna be any solar flare coming up. Hopefully if it happens, the massive dose of radiation would cook the little innards of all these fucking flies. But we'll most probably die from radiation sickness...

Swallows:
Mass import swallows into Australia. They'll definitely have a field day eating all those flies. We'll benefit too, as we can eat bird's nest. But i definitely won't. Imagine eating a bird's vomit. Vomit that contains traces of flies that it had regurgitated... Urgh... Fucking disgusting.

Shirt:
Invent a shirt that would sent a puff of insecticide ont the flies whenever they land on me. Definite killer for the flies. And for me too... Insecticide poisioning... Damned..

Frogs/Lizards:
Rear frogs and lizards and let them sit on my shoulders. They'll eat whichever flies that fly too near. Wahaha. Ingenious. And i'll look like some fucking idiot for having frogs and lizards on my shoulders.

Electricity:
Charge myself up with massive doses of static electricity. Zap whichever thing that touches me. Including my friends...

Burn in hell, all you fucking flies...
Burn for making me so fucking irritated...